Monday, June 29, 2009

Ladies, i need your help with the topic of legalism.

I need your help with something. Particularly from those Christian women who have been labeled "legalistic". A friend of mine, who for a couple of years was my Christian mentor in an Assemblies of God church that i attended a few years ago, started screaming legalism at me when i told her about my lifestyle now. When i became saved it was in an AOG church that is very liberal. But God changed my heart on some matters that don't seem to make sense to those people who do not have the same convictions as me. I always considered her my friend. And it honestly hurt my feelings. My husband thinks i should just let it go, but i think i should tell her how i feel. What do you think? I need your advice especially from those who have been called legalistic before. How did you handle it? Should i tell her how i feel?


Krystal said...

This is so interesting, Bridget, because I am seeing so much dissent on the internet nowadays on everything ranging from church attendance and tithing to makeup and long skirts! And I personally feel that the Lord has been dealing with me about this: not compromising my love walk when someone starts trashing my own beliefs and convictions. I choose not to retaliate, or to really even engage in debate with them. But I do begin to distance myself, because I know that we can't walk together as close as we used to if there is no agreement. But even though I may call them less or email them less or whatever, I never show any malice or condescension simply because their convictions do not mirror mine.

Our walk with God is individual and personal. You once said that you don't listen to secular music. I don't either. But for someone who is saved, and still listens to it, perhaps the Lord hasn't dealt with them about it yet. Maybe God is dealing with this individual about the way they talk to their spouse, or the fact that they're still fornicating (or whatever), and if He were to begin dealing with them about the music, it would be too much for them. And then comes you or me, and we mention that we don't listen to that stuff, and they call it legalistic. Well, for me, obeying what the Lord has put on MY heart is not legalistic. It's obedience. So I think that you simply have to recognize that when someone doesn't "get" what you're doing, it may very well be that God hasn't said anything to them about it yet. In time and with love, they'll likely get there, though.

Additionally, I see some things that others post on the internet that don't line up with the way I live, and when I go to God about it, He simply says, "Forget about what anybody else is saying. You do what I told you to do. My Word is your command, not someone else's words."

Anyway, you asked if you should tell her how you feel. Well, NOTHING DIVIDES LIKE RELIGIOUS MATTERS. Nothing. Close friendships are broken because of religious disputes. People think that money issues tear up relationships, but religious matters trump even money. My advice to you would be this: ask the Holy Spirit what you should do about it, if anything. I cannot tell you the number of times I've wanted to blurt out something to my husband, and the Holy Spirit would prompt me to keep my yap shut! (And I'm telling you what, it would take a miracle of monumental proportions for me not to say something!) Then, later in the day, I would be so thankful that I didn't say what I wanted to say in the midst of anger and charged emotions. I recognize that nothing good would have come of it, and I am so grateful that I listened to the Holy Spirit.

So that's what I think you should do. The Holy Spirit will give you the Words to say, if any. And in the end, no matter what her reaction is, you'll know that you were in obedience to God and that you did not violate your love walk.

I hope this helps you! ((HUG))

Martha said...

Krystal said it all!

Some Christians are fine with being saved and even fewer Christians desire a closer relationship with the Lord. It is only natural to abandon worldly things because we're supposed to feel the filth when we're close with the Lord :) the only time we need to be concerned about being 'legalistic' is when we think our good works will save us. Which, I'm sorry to say, will never be good enough for Heaven. Luckily Jesus died for us and by grace, shall we be saved!

Mrs. Bridget G. said...

You guys know i'm not legalistic. I am just as unworthy of being saved by anything else but grace, just like everyone else on the planet. But it really hurt my feelings that she said that. I've known her for almost 6 years. She's bought my kids presents, and we used to go out together. Now, it's a miracle that i hear from her. This all started when i told her about my changes. And losing her friendship is not the part that hurts the most. The part that hurts the most is her questioning my love for Christ. Thinking that you can create your own salvation (legalism) is sooo far from the gift that Jesus gave us that it makes it in vain. It's like she's doubting my Christianity. It's so upsetting.

Krystal said...

Yeah, Bridget... I've never thought of you to be legalistic. Not by a looonng shot!

I'll pray for healing for your hurt heart. :(

The Road Less Traveled said...

Shaolm Bridget~

First thanks for your comment...that I rejected on accident :-( could you please leave another, I don't even know on what you were commenting on, I'm so sorry. Thanks

Now, about your questions I was getting ready to side with you becuause I so relate and have gone through it, but then I re-read your post and you said your dh thinks it's best to let it go. We as godly wives are to submit to our hd so I'm clamming up on, no I do beleive you the the Messiah has made it clear that we need of obey our dh so I'm encouraging you to do so.

Remember when the Yahshua went out and fasted for 40 days, what was it that the enemy said? If, if, if, you are the son of Yah...well he hasn't changed his tacktics. So now he challenges you if your saved by grace why do you follow the terrible, burdeson law!

No, we know that none are save without grace! I would like to know how those who want to call us legalist because we obey a command they do can cast stones...well if you choose to obey the command thou shalt no lie, oh your saved by grace, if you chooose to obey the command, do not covet, oh your saved by grace. If you choose not to commet adultry we of course your saved by grace??? but in my case I chose to the seventh day Saturday to be my rest day or because I searched out modesty and chose to dress in a modest manner, or better yet, because I searched out the 'christian' holidays and found pagan roots in them so I chose not to observe them, guess what I have now become a legalist! I now smile when I hear it because there is one coming who is a law breaker he is even called the "lawless" or with out the law or refusal to submit to the law one. I don't want to even be associated with that one by name, so go ahead and call me a legalist, I yet to read where Yahshua said those who obey the law will be throne into eternal damnatin, but in 1 Thes it is said that those who have not a love for the truth (by the way in Ps. the law is truth) will be given a great delusion and then judge for that delusion and for not believing the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness. (This is the verse that took me off TV...I was enjoying way to much unrighteousness, oh yeah and I'm a leagalist because I choose not to watch acts of unrigheousness?) Nope now where to I read that Messiah is going to comdemn those who followed in his foot steps, didi you know he didn't sin, yeah sin is the breaking of the law (1John 3:4) Funny, well not really, everyone that breaks the laws of Yah are going to hell, untill Yahshua saves you, then you can break those same laws and you'll make it???? NOT...

ok I'll step off the pullpit now...I really just came by to let you know that I accidently rejected your comment.

I hope I didn't offend, but the word says Ps 119:165 Great peace/shalom have they that LOVE thy LAW and NOTHING shall OFFEND them.

My dear sister take it in stride, let it go, and be comforted in know the the enemy came to your Savior the same, what a complement! You must be following in his footsteps. If you keep quiet Father will fight your battle, and oh he can do a much better job than us, he can convict her heart AND show her the truth.

Now my the Master's Shalom rest in your heart, mind, soul and home

Penny in TN

Sorry for the long post and typos :-/

LisaShaw said...

Hi Sweetie,

Getting back in the blog swing. I've had you on my heart and in my prayers. I could say a lot about what you've asked here but I will just say that Krystal's first comment says a great deal of what I'd say to you.

Love you.

Mrs. Bridget G. said...

I've really appreciated everyone's support on this topic. I thought i would have more problems with unbelievers, not from fellow Christians on my beliefs. But, I will not say anything to her. I just hope that she does not keep bringing it up.
Krystal, you should be the next Oprah with your motivational speaking! lol.

Penny- I appreciate your input, typos and all! Thanks for reminding me to listen to listen to my husband's advice. Sometimes, like Krystal says, it's hard to keep your mouth shut or submit to your husband.

You know guys, i forget how our walk with the Lord is not meant to be easy.

Hey Lisa, glad you are back. You always bring warmth to my blog.

And for everyone who chose to send me a private email on the matter, thank you as well. I appreciate your help and advice.

Krystal said...

Hmmm. A "saved Oprah"... I'll have to look into that!!! ;)

Raisingarrows said...

This has been a hot topic here too! Krystal's insight is wonderful!